Characters:
Narrator
Bobby
Pandora
Hope
Chuck Kane
Tabby

Narrator: Once upon a time there was a young girl from Carouse, New York, who cared about the important things in life, like what nail colors were in fashion that season, and making sure that said nails matched her shoes. There are some who would say that all of that came to an end with her discovery of a secret, worldwide organization, bent on destroying not only her happy little world, but all happy little worlds. This organization was known as CASK. In reality, however, it all came to an end when Pandora Darling came home early from school one September afternoon to find her mother standing over a very dead man who had claimed to have witnessed Jehova, with a bloody hunting knife. But now, Hope Darling was dead, and it was up to Pandy to continue in her mother’s footsteps, and her war against Cask.

Hope: I’m glad that you’ve made it this far, honey, glad that you decided to do this. But there are some things that you need to make sure you know and do.

Narrator: Pandora and her now “official” boyfriend, Bobby Kurtzman, sat in the office of Chuck Norriton Kane’s karate dojo, the Carousel Academy School of Karate, listening to a recording of Hope Darling, which she had left in the care of Mr. Kane.

Hope: Most importantly, Pandy, you must find a confidant. I personally recommend Tabby, you two work so well together. For lack of that, you might want to consider that geeky computer nerd that you were always complaining about.

Bobby: Wait a minute!

Pandora: Yell at me later, Bobbysox.

Hope: -are in my room in the bottom drawer of my dresser, in the secret compartment in back. They seemed to have worked for you, so have whomever you choose as your companion listen to the tapes so you wont be doing all the work out there.

Pandora: Yes mother, we already did that. I do have some of my priorities straight.

Bobby: They’re the subliminal message tapes you made me listen to all afternoon, right?

Hope: Make sure you make this your FIRST priority, Potato.

Pandora: Gosh, she makes it sound like she EXPECTS me to spend all afternoon boinking you rather than preparing you for combat.

Bobby: Pandy!

Hope: -recommend signing up for some of Mr. Kane’s classes, it will make it easy for you to- (a knock at the door)

Chuck: Shh! Shut that thing off!

Narrator: Bobby and Pandora scrambled to find either a volume control or pause button on the box that was playing Hope’s recording. Chuck stood and went to answer the knock on his office door. A tall man with greasy hair stood there. He gestured toward the front doors. Chuck excused himself and went to speak to the new arrival. Meanwhile, the sweaty, greasy man leaned casually in the office doorway, leering at Pandora.

Bobby: (whisper) Pandora. That guy’s staring at you really weirdly. I know you keep saying you’re not good at spotting members of CASK, but I think he might qualify. Should we take him out?

Pandora: (whisper) Chill, Bobby. A) we don’t want to be blowing our cover before we even have a cover. B) I’m pretty sure that guy’s just Creepy, not CASK.

Bobby: (whisper) I don’t like the way he’s looking at you. Are you sure-

Pandora: (whisper) Neither do I. And no, I’m not sure he’s not CASK. But I’d rather not sit here with him staring at me until I do something stupid and make a scene. I’m going out there.

Narrator: Pandora dropped a curt-

Pandora: Excuse me.

Narrator: -as she shouldered past the man in the doorway. She headed up to the front of the building, where Chuck Kane was standing with his back to her, completely blocking the person to whom he was talking from Pandora’s sight.

Pandora: Pardon me, Mr. Kane, but could you please direct me to- Tabby!?

Tabby: Pandy!? What on earth are you doing here?

Pandora: Me? I’m…I’m signing up for a class! You know, since my mom died I thought- What are you doing here!?

Tabby: Whatever my business is here, Pandy, it’s none of yours.

Chuck: Er, Ms. Wentworth here stopped by to ask for donations for some new organization she’s starting. Something about social knowledge. What did you say it was called?

Tabby: I hadn’t yet. But it’s called the Carousel Social Knowledge Association.

Narrator: Chuck and Pandora gave Tabitha queer looks.

Tabby: Well I had thought about the Carousel Association for Social Knowledge, but I was worried that it would sound a bit too stuffed shirtish for someone who is still only a junior in high school. And Campaign Advocating Social Knowledge just sounds odd if it’s not in the middle of a sentence. If I’m getting funding, I need an organization name, not just a description.

Pandy: Right…

Chuck: I’m really sorry, Ms. Wentworth, but the Carousel Academy School of Karate just can’t afford to be giving out donations. I know, I know, it’s a shame, we’d really love to help another small, developing group out, but we’re barely making the rent on this building as it is.

Tabby: WHAT?! That’s ridiculous! You have a full room of students, your registration lists are filled. And why didn’t you tell me when I got here that you don’t give donations? You only waited until after I told you the-…it’s you! Isn’t it? You told him not to give me money! You and your ‘woe is me! my mother died!’ antics! And then you steal Bobby from me, but no! That’s not enough for you! Now you’re chumming it up with your mom’s old karate instructor! I HATE YOU, PANDORA DARLING!

Narrator: Tabitha stopped screaming, breathing hard, and noticed that, behind Mr. Kane and Pandora, every person in the crowded room was staring at her. She turned and ran from the room. Mr. Kane waved to the others, instructing them to return to their axe kicks and high blocks, and gave Pandora a curious look.

Pandora: Ex best friend.

Chuck: Right. Let’s get back to that box thing.

Narrator: Chuck and Pandora returned to the office to find the greasy haired man deep in conversation with a stuttering Bobby who was clutching the closed recording box to his stomach. The conversation cut short when Chuck and Pandy entered.

Chuck: A moment please, Ralph? (beat) Look, Pandora, I’m very sorry but I think you should get out of here. Listen to the rest of the tape, and I’ll contact you before tomorrow morning. Here, put it in this bag. We don’t need you looking any more suspicious than you already do.

Narrator: And before they knew what was happening, Pandora and Bobby found themselves standing outside of the dojo, clutching a sack of padding in which Hope’s recording was hiding.

Bobby: Well then!

Pandora: I hope I didn’t just screw things up really badly for everyone.

Bobby: Oh, I don’t think so. At least, Ralph didn’t seem to pay any mind, even after Tabby’s outburst. What was she doing there anyway?

Pandora: (quietly sad) Trying to raise money for her social awareness organization.

Bobby: Then why all of the fuss?

Pandora: (really sad) She couldn’t decide on the name…

Bobby: Ok….?

Pandora: She said she couldn’t decide between the Carousel Social Knowledge Association, the Carousel Association for Social Knowledge, or just Campaign Advocating Social Knowledge.

Bobby: Oh….

Pandora: Oh Bobby! I don’t want Tabby to be CASK! I mean, yes, she’s a total brat, but I suppose I’m not entirely guilt free in that respect. Yes, we’ve had a few fights and are officially not friends anymore, but….but…. I…I don’t want to….

Bobby: What? What don’t you want to do? Pandy? Are you ok?

Narrator: Pandora Claire Darling turned to look at Bobby, her face red and blotchy, her eyes swollen with unspilled tears.

Pandy: (whisper) I don’t want to have to kill my- mpfh!!

Bobby: Pandy! Don’t talk about that here! We’re in the middle of a public parking lot! Anyone could hear you! Tabby could still be-OUCH!

Narrator: Bobby shook the pain away from his hand and examined the teeth marks in it for blood.

Bobby: (Yelling match!) What did you bite me for?

Pandora: I-I’m sorry, Bobby! I didn’t mean it!

Bobby: How could you not mean it? You bit me!

Pandora: I didn’t mean to hurt you-

Bobby: How does that make sense? You. Bit. Me! You don’t bite people and not intend to hurt them!

Pandora: I didn’t bite you that hard!

Bobby: I’m bleeding!

Pandora: Really? Let me see.

Bobby: No! You might decide you want to finish the job! You need to learn to control yourself!

Pandora: What’s that supposed to mean?

Bobby: You said you didn’t mean to bite me. Whatever. But you had this glazedish look in your eyes right before you did it!

Pandora: Ok?

Bobby: Meaning it wasn’t really you in there. Those subliminal tapes your mother fed you-

Pandora: The same ones I had you listen to earlier today-

Bobby: are taking control of you!

Pandora: So, you’re saying I’m turning into some inhuman fighting machine that can’t control her own actions?

Bobby: um…kind of. Yeah. (beat) You just need to learn how to control those impulses. Bring them to the forefront of your mind, so that instead of being programmed to know all this stuff, you know how to do it. It’s like in the lab with Officer Feel-good-

Pandora: I’m going upstairs. Feel free to do whatever it is you do.

Narrator: Pandora grabbed the box laden bag from Bobby and climbed the stairs to her room, ignoring Bobby’s spluttering protests and requests for access to the ice and a plastic baggie. She stalked directly to her room, slammed the door, locked it, took the box out of the bag, lifted the lid of the box she slept in, climbed in, and lay down, clutching the box with her mother’s voice to her chest.

Pandora: Mommy, what have you done to me….?

Hope: -book from the left on the bookshelf, and the shelf will open to my arsenal. Please keep in mind that many of them are antiques. So don’t break them. Moving on to the kitchen, behind the canned soups you’ll find everything you’ll need for an arsenic cocktail, among other things. Ingredients for just drugging someone are behind the baking supplies. I figured if you accidentally added some to those brownies you were always making, at least you wouldn’t be hyper for very long. So there’s that. Now for the important stuff. Like I said before, you need someone that you can trust. Chuck will be there for you if you need him, again, I recommend signing up for a few classes, just for an excuse to make contact. You can practice pointing out CASK members there as well. Most importantly though, keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer than that. But I think your best bets for a confidante are either Tabby or that guy. I don’t recommend both, as that could result in a compromising situation if tempers get heated. *beat* I’m sorry, Potato, but I know I’m forgetting something. Something big, but I just can’t….oh right. You need to know about your father, and how to find him-

Bobby: *Scream of terror*

Narrator: Pandora snapped back to reality and bolted downstairs. Unfortunately, no one appeared to be present, except for a long scream which was quickly turning into a series of frightened squawks. The only place left to go was downstairs. Pandy flopped onto the sofa, her face in her hands, debating whether she should attempt to explain to Bobby why Officer S. Interpolitansky’s innards were decomposing in a bucket next to the rest of him, or let him come to his own conclusions.

Bobby: Pandora…?

Pandy: (muffled) Yes Bobby?

Bobby: Um, why is…?

Pandy: He was CASK.

Bobby: Yes, we’ve established this part. But you never said you killed him. All you said was the he won’t be waking up for a while.

Pandora: It’s kind of true…

Bobby: So you just killed him?

Pandora: I didn’t just kill him. I had to get the chip. How else was I supposed to get it?

Bobby: And you knew for absolute certainty that Interpolitansky was CASK?

Pandora: I had a hunch.

Bobby: A HUNCH!? Pandora, I know you’ve been through a lot, so we’re going to go through this really slowly. You…KILLED, emphasis on the Killed: as in removed the spark of life from, a man, who, yes I’ll admit he was a little too enthusiastic and obsessive, and definitely creepy and weird, and totally about to kill us, but you killed him, because you thought that he might be CASK?

Pandora: Ye-es…

Bobby: Pandy. I love you, you know that. But do you REALIZE how NOT GOOD all of this looks? This is crazy stuff. I’m scared that you’re going crazy yourself! Like…like Dahmer crazy! I just don’t-

Pandora: What were you and Ralph talking about?

Bobby: What?

Pandora: Ralph. The guy at the dojo. You were all stuttery and sweaty, but you still seemed really into the conversation. What were you talking about?

Bobby: Oh, we introduced ourselves, and his name seemed familiar, so I asked him if he blogged too. Turns out he was a big Jason Brandt fan too! He works for a company called…oh what was it? Right! Canine Assistance Supervision-

Pandora: Do you, like, have a magnet in you or something?

Bobby: What? No. I don’t…don’t think so? What?

Pandora: I just seems like you could go to a sold out game at Giant’s stadium, and end up sitting next to the only other Jason Brandt fan in the entire crowd.

Bobby: Well, I….uh….

Pandora: There’s you, and now Ralph, and Caleb and….oh, I know there was someone else…

*doorbell*

Pandora: Oh right!

Bobby: Tabby!

Narr: How did Tabby know about Hope's friendship with Chuck Norriton Kane? What is she doing at Pandora's house? Is there really any connection between Bobby, Tabby, Ralph, and Caleb? Will Pandora and Bobby's relationship last? And what did Hope have to say about Pandora's father? The only way to find out is to listen in to next week's episode of Like Daughter: Killing Time.